About Melissa Schmalenberger

Posts by Melissa Schmalenberger:


A Plea For Your RSVP

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on November 25, 2014 in Holidays, life, Moms |

I have seen an interesting thing happen over the last couple of years; the lack of giving an RSVP. We all know what it means. We all understand the purpose of it. Yet people fail to give a proper response. I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. Sometimes it slips my mind and I forget, but yet most of the time another culprit is at play. I call that culprit, “waiting for a better offer” or “can’t make up my mind.”


This time of the year, we are sent holiday party invites and offers to go caroling, bake cookies or volunteer at your child’s school. Our social calendar floweth over! We also have the added stress of trying to not gain weight. Seriously, I know carrot sticks are not the food I am going towards on the buffet table. Plus we have to get all the holiday shopping and baking done in our spare time and still be a valuable employee, spouse, parent, etc.


I am writing this post at an exhausted point in my day. We decided to do a major house remodel in one week….paint and replace the flooring in three rooms. Who does this? Someone who has lofty goals! We are in the home stretch and coming in on time, but I am tired. I still have the Thanksgiving holiday to plan & cook and two of my boys are coming home from college. I am pushing through my exhausted state as I see the finish line.


But because I am tired, I am really careful about what I say “yes” to. I am one of those people when I commit to going, I go. I try to give the RSVP early as I know what it takes to plan an event. You owe it to the event planner to let them know as soon as possible your intentions about going.


Here are some tips to make sure that you don’t say “Yes” to things you really want to say “No” to.


  • Do a gut check. Does it fell right to be going or should you just say no? My gut is always right. If there is a nagging feeling that you shouldn’t be going, then don’t go.


  • Will it put you over budget? Some events you need to buy an expensive ticket or buy a special outfit. If these things take you out of your budget, then don’t go.


  • Can you give an answer right now? If you can answer “yes” or “no” right now, that is a good clue if you really want to go to the event.


  • Do you have the time? If you are already over scheduled, don’t add another thing to your list. Keep your calendar under control in order to keep your sanity.


  • Will you feel guilty? We all know that if we say “yes” to something we often are saying “no” to something else. Figure out what that is ahead of time so that you can deal with it.


  • Are you saying “yes” so you just don’t miss a potential good time? That is the wrong reason to say “yes.” You should be going for other reasons, like spending time with friends or family. If you are that person that doesn’t want to ever miss a good time, you are going to exhaust yourself before too long and start missing events.

So as those holiday invites start to come in, take control of your calendar and make sure that you do not over extend yourself. Let the event planner know quickly what your intentions are. And if you say “yes” to an event, make sure that you go. It is very disheartening to prepare for 30 and only 15 attend. Be respectful of your time and the time of the person who invited you.



To Joyful, Simplified Organizing,


MS. Simplicity


Serving the Fargo-Moorhead area as well as North Dakota and South Dakota. Also seeking new representatives for Clever Container in all areas of the country.

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Don’t Guilt People Into People Keeping Your Clutter

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on November 18, 2014 in Family, life |

  I pride myself as being a fairly organized person. I take my advice most of the time. But once in awhile, I slip up and hear myself going down the road of clutter. When I work with my clients, I will challenge them when they want to keep something for someone to actually take [...]

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Steps of Service To Implement in Your Life

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on November 11, 2014 in Family, life |

I have been on a traveling whirlwind of late and although it has been fun, what I really appreciate is looking at the exchange and treatment of others. I am in a service providing industry and I always take note of when I get good service and when I get bad. I am happy to [...]

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What is Your Story

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on November 4, 2014 in life, Moms |

I often find that people get stuck with a story in their head that they find difficult to erase or rewrite. We are raised by our family of origin and influences of our cultural to believe certain things. That story is so loud that it often quiets any other voice. In my case my husband [...]

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Good Night To-Do List

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on October 28, 2014 in life |

I have been struggling with remembering what I need to do the next day as I am falling asleep, then I lie there awake thinking I can’t forget to do this. Meanwhile I lie awake. Sleep is elusive and instead of grabbing a pen and writing it down I toss and turn all night while [...]

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Decluttering After A Divorce

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on October 21, 2014 in Uncategorized |

I recently had a friend over for dinner who has gone through a divorce and I peppered her with questions. I am always fascinated by divorces, not because I am planning one, but simply because being a family law lawyer was a part of my life for so long. I like seeing how people can get [...]

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Four Things That You Can Do Today To Help You Sleep

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on October 13, 2014 in Family, life, Moms, Uncategorized |

I don’t know about you but I seem to have that nagging voice in my head that is on a never ending loop. I also know that I am not the only one with this nagging voice in their head. When I work with my clients, I find that they too have the same voice [...]

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Empty That Bucket List

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on October 7, 2014 in Uncategorized |

I am a firm believer in the bucket list. This is the list I have in my mind of things I want to do or accomplish. These are my dreams. These are things that are often so out of reach, I don’t think I am ever going to accomplish them. I have a friend who [...]

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A Life of Missed Opportunity

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on September 30, 2014 in Uncategorized |

I was reminded last week about the company Kodak. Remember them? They had cornered the market on photo paper and photo processing. And then the digital camera came along and to add fuel to the fire of their company collapse, the cell phone with great cameras. People simply stopped processing their pictures. Kodak missed the turn [...]

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Life After Another Bird Flys Away

Posted by Melissa Schmalenberger on September 23, 2014 in Family, life, Moms |

I am now one month out from dropping our middle son off at college 250 miles away. When we did this with our oldest son two years ago, it was an exciting adventure. I can now admit that with the middle son it was the apprehension that just about killed me. I was so anxious [...]

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